Never thought that things would turn out the way they did but it happened that way anyway.

Before these, i thought of resorting to posting song lyrics which i could identify with here to express how i felt. Days and days of listening and thinking didn't produce any results. Till now, i'm still constricted by my lack of vocab or whatever to pour my innermost feelings here.

Used to have some pride about being a debater. As much as i sucked at it, i made it and the college team and hey, i was the VP so doesn't that count for something? I wallow in regret now. Wondered if i joined the wrong cca. Being labelled with qualities which i've never associated myself to really sucks.

So what if i'm debater? Aren't debaters human beings after all? Are they all supposed to be good at twisting and turning the facts? Do they do that all the time?

I hate this feeling. But no worries, after this entry, i won't blog about how i feel openly anymore. Just needed a checkpoint to keep myself in check.

Sometimes, people say one thing and do another. It's amazing that i've somewhat become that sorta person in some people's eyes. I don't really know who to confide in but luckily i have a listening ear.

Trying too hard to solve a problem doesn't yield much results if the other side isn't ready to reciprocate in kind. You can say everything till your mouth runs dry, your brain is emptied but yeah, nothing. Putting important things to you aside to do things for the bigger picture doesn't really help too.

Something from the past haunted me. I just HAD to know how and when it happened. Too similar to the past. I hate that feeling. That feeling of being so unaware and idiotic. Ever wondered how it felt like to be the last to know about something? Ask me (: Haven gone into details about it but gay and a few others heard of it before. Just that to them, it doesn't seem very vital.

time