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Tuesday, September 09, 2008
7:12 PM

Why?

Why the hell did i ever give this phase of life so much hope and effort, hoping to get somewhere when it's not gonna be something that lasts. Even if it did, knowing how this system works now sends your morale WAY south.

3 stripes can never rise above a bar. You're expendable while they're not. So why try?

Time here seems to be crawling. The dread level is also rising with each day. Who doesn't want to learn a new skill? It's just that picking something like this up takes more than effort. You risk fractures, wounds, the chance to lose the usage of a limb permanently and in the worst case scenario, you stand to lose your life.

Maybe i'm exaggerating here but the point i'm trying to make is, why bother? If people earning the same rank and recognition can do so for less, why put so much at stake?

On a more positive note, it's time to thank poor girlf who waited all the way till 3am just for me last night. Won't go into details here since noone's gonna be interested but yeah. It feels GOOD to be actually wanted/loved/fussed over so much. ((:

27missedcalls, and counting.....